In a strange twist of fate, the Devil found himself standing in a heavenly courtroom, on trial.

The charges?
"Corruption, deceit, temptation, and excessive sarcasm."

The jury was made up of angels. The judge was Saint Peter. God was watching silently from the VIP section, sipping coffee.

Lucifer, once the brightest of angels, adjusted his tailored red suit, cleared his throat, and dramatically addressed the court.

"Ladies, gentlemen, feathery beings," he said, flashing a grin. "I understand why I'm here. 'Satan,' they say. 'Prince of Darkness.' 'Father of Lies.'"

He paused for effect.

"But let me ask you this: Have any of you SEEN what Karen from accounting posts on Facebook?"

The angels shifted awkwardly. They had seen it.

"I mean, here I am — yes, a tempter, a tester, an adversary — but at least I never told my neighbor to 'eat bleach' to cure a cold," Lucifer continued, waving his arms wildly. "I never ghosted a charity donation after taking a free T-shirt! I never called customer service and pretended to be 'a lawyer' to get free coupons!"

He leaned on the witness stand dramatically. His voice lowered.

"In fact, your honor, I always make my deals clear.
I never hide the fine print. I say: 'Your soul for infinite power. One time offer.'
No hidden fees, no auto-renewals, no pretending it's a 'free trial.'"

A murmur rippled through the courtroom.

Lucifer pulled out a shiny chart labeled "Demons vs Humans: Ethical Business Practices" and started pointing.

Demons: Clear contracts, optional participation, fire-themed events (open bar).

Humans: Fake sweepstakes, diet teas that don't work, surprise wedding invites that require travel AND a gift.

"I even give them what they want! Fame! Riches! A blue checkmark on social media!" he said.
"And yet, humans betray each other for nothing. Just... for fun."

Saint Peter rubbed his forehead, exhausted.

Lucifer took a deep breath, adjusted his halo (yes, he pulled one out of his briefcase), and finished:

"So if you're looking for corruption?
Maybe—just maybe—I'm not the worst thing that ever happened to holiness.
I'm just...a very honest villain."

He snapped his fingers. A neon sign appeared: "DEVIL — HONEST SINCE DAY ONE."

The jury deliberated.

After three minutes, they ruled:

Guilty — but with excellent points.

As a reward for his speech, the Devil was given probation and limited access to the heavenly break room, provided he didn't spike the coffee again.

Lucifer bowed theatrically, winked at God, and left the courtroom whistling a hymn.